Love. Love, I keep writing things down and then deleting them here. There isn't anything that could come after a word like love that can give it the credit this word deserves. Love holds your heart and can do what it wants to your heart. Still, the truth is God is love. This is the fundamental truth and the basics of my everyday life. God is love. No adding on to it or changing any of it. You don't even need to expound on it, although I'm going to try very hard to do just that.
Now, to the points of love I'd like to discuss, because to be honest its too massive a word to fully grasp so I'm just trying to extend a thought or two on some areas that extend love. To friendships and family. I'm not going to say that friends are the family you choose because they aren't. The people you surround yourself with have a massive impact on you most defiantly and they speak volumes about your character. But your family have known you sense you where born and if your lucky they will be there till you die, they aren't the everyday people but they stay there through everything. Both of these groupings are massive implements of love in my life. Now, the truth is I run from love like a little girl still hiding under the covers and I will admit that my family has had a lot to do with that in the past but now it is all on me. My friends can be given this girl who, on occasion, it can be like pulling teeth to get me to share my feelings and thoughts, except on occasion I'll tell all at the drop of a hat. Still they love me through it. They can test the boundaries and in some city's ruins drive me crazy and not help or even make some things worse. Still they love me and I love them for all of it. For trying even if what's going on isn't necessarily helpful. For always being given and willing. And then there is so much more and it completely not them. They couldn't love me all on their own (truthfully I couldn't love me either) but its there despite logic and even common sense. To be connected to people that are this giving is a blessing. It's the love that shapes and molds your character as an adult. It's how God shows you to relationally live and do so rightly in Him so as to have a greater understanding as how to love Him. It's the ultimate purpose of everything He gives us: to love Him. Here I can continue on endlessly so I'll give up for the time being on trying to expound, perhaps in a later date I'll continue with further revelation upon friendships. It's rather likely that as I learn more about how to actually have friendships God will show Himself more and more giving me deeper understanding of what love truly is.
Then you have the family that loves me, despite both me and them. I know my family is great. We are definitely special. No one can shut me down faster or make me feel as insignificant as they do while actually truly trying to encourage me. They can often be selfish, as can I more times then not. But these imperfect relationships give us the strongest analogies to what love with Him looks like. The love of a father and son, the love if a husband and wife. A perfect father. This is a live that cares for and wants to see you grow and mature. That loves you in everything and sees everything. The live if my family is frightening to me but I do have the understanding that they will always love me. The same with God. His love for me will never stop or change no matter where I'm at in life. This is probably the hardest miracle for me to understand. Because it makes no sense. Especially sense the closest thing we have to its understand is our family and we all know how imperfect that can be. Yet, that's where the understand starts. A love sucks as that is truly something to stand in awe of, and I do daily. It's a love that loved you first and more then you could ever figure out how to love back. That's a fathers love. That's something that I will spend all of eternity experiencing. That's a love that all I can so in return is love back, and doing that is the most natural result. It's all I can do in return.
So, love. There's so much there. And I have no true understanding of it and have no clam of known almost anything. But what I do know is God will forever be showing me a deeper revelation of it as I pursue Him. And in the relationships I have around me I will learn more and more about it. What it truly is, not what I thought. I know as my relationships deepen I will have a stronger faith in love and I'm so thankful for this! So thankful that this is a privilege to have and it's amazing that God uses our relationships to track us.
I guess this was all to say how little I know about live and how much He's showing me.
Now to open myself up to experiencing it more. After all everything I just mention requires quiet a bit of vulnerability and I will openly admit that frightens me and I'm really terrible at it. But this is still me trying.